Indexbit-Lorde Shares “Hard” Life Update on Mystery Illness and Heartbreak

Lorde is HardIndexbitgiving herself the green light on a new life change.

In a recent newsletter to fans, the "Ribs" singer shared that she stopped taking the medication she's had for the past decade.

"The little yellow pill I took every morning for thousands of mornings since I was 15, I stopped taking it 5 days ago," Lorde wrote in her Sept. 20 message. "Gonna see how it goes."

The decision, Lorde said, comes amid ongoing health issues that have plagued her this year.

"My body is really inflamed, it's trying to tell me something and I'm trying to support it but nothing seems to help and I get frustrated," the 26-year-old shared. "My gut isn't working properly, my skin is worse than ever, I've gotten sick half a dozen times."

Lorde then got candid on her relationship with her body, noting that she felt like she had previously neglected it.

"I realized earlier this year that listening to my body is hard for me, it's something I never really learned how to do," she added. "I've been trying to teach myself that this year, but it's been hard actually, pretty confronting, has made me fully aware of all the times I ignored it or didn't give it what it needed, shamed it for a fight or flight response, took a handful of pills and pushed through."

In addition to her health, Lorde said she's "living with heartbreak again."

"It's different but the same," she continued. "I ache all the time, I forget why and then remember. I'm not trying to hide from the pain, I understand now that pain isn't something to hide from, that there's actually great beauty in moving with it. But sometimes I'm sick of being with myself."

Nevertheless, she remained optimistic about the future.

"I know I'm gonna look back on this year with fondness and a bit of awe, knowing it was the year that locked everything into place, the year that transitioned me from my childhood working decade to the one that comes next — one that even through all this, I'm so excited for," said Lorde, who performed at music festivals this year. "It's just hard when you're in it."